Jason Monastra

My life and thoughts out on the web

This is something that we cover frequently but I find more people wish to discuss it than I would think.  Resumes….lets focus, are the keys to the opportunities - THEY DO NOT GET YOU JOBS.  I take a look at most resumes and truly wonder what people are attempting to put together.  Is it for look, is it for their own personal praise session, what?  Resumes are to entice interest by the person reading them.  They are to dive quickly into the differences between you and everyone else, letting decision makers know how badly they need you and why.  The art of the resume has been lost, and the writing of it has become so common place that most resumes are given a poor review by the management reviewing them.  Want to know why - because professionals have stopped taking the career search process seriously, and sling pieces of paper out there (resume) seeing what will stick.  Sad state of affairs.

So how do we write a resume that creates a bubble of glee within the professional reading it?  Well that is simple - write it from the heart.  As someone that reads resumes daily, I am always most intrigued by two things.  One, the details that match well to the skill set I am looking for.  Two, the writing of someone that took the time to spill their guts, letting someone know who they were vs. what they did at a job.  Impact -how the effected the professional environment they were in.  What makes them different than every other jo-shmow that does the same job.  These are the things to write about and what make people want to read your resume further.  They draw the audience in, making them read an extra sentence and that extra word.  All of which concludes in the ultimate purpose which is to get them to pick up the phone and call you.

We have spoken on objectives before, and if you need a refresher, please take a look at the post I wrote back in July covering the matter - http://lambentpath.com/2008/07/18/resume-objective/.  The key here is after you have driven the person into wanting to learn more about you, how do you get them to pick up and phone and call you.  Most importantly, stop writing the resume like everyone else.  I am beginning to see more and more that people that make themselves stand are quicker to get the interview than the standard written resume.  So lets see how to make it pop.  When laying out the format of the resume and listing the professional jobs that you have had - we can spice things up by leading way with a professional reference with the job.  Take for example the following:

United Hospital,  St Louis MO, Aug 2002 -Present

Snr Systems Admin

Now normally under here we would give a brief of the hospital and what your responsibilities were.  However at the end or maybe even leading off, we can place a brief reference showing the level of work performed.  “John performed at a level that allowed United to become the leading MS environment in our hospital system.  His vision and technical expertise are invaluable, making him an integral part of our IT environment/staff * “  Now most people are used to seeing references in a separate document - but this gives a brief highlight into what they think about you and then you provided a bookmark to the full version.  They can check the * at the bottom of the page to see what the manager said in full.  What do you think the person reading this is going to do?  They are going to browse to the bottom of the page, see the full version and continue reading.  You have captured the audience interest, making them want to see why this person has said these things about you.  Once this is completed, the come back to your bullet points which highlight your impact on the environment, thus making them place you in the short stack or possibly the only resume that is worth calling.  You have thus made yourself different.

Resume format is not universal.   The purpose is universal but how to get to that end point is all up to you.  I find that too many people follow a template and it is simply boring.  So when reading the resume, think about the audience - what the person will want to see and what makes them want to read more.  Why would you want to read more if you were sitting in their chair?  Also, think about the specific job that you are applying for.  This helps dramatically in your resume writing as the audience is more defined and you understand the responsibilities of the job you are considering.   Sending a general resume is like all cars having to drive on the same size tire.  On most cars it simply does not work.  So tune your resume to the application and make yourself pop with specific pieces that say who you are.

First and foremost, let us place our prayers to all of those that suffered through the storm.  It was a terrible event for all of those that stayed, as well as those who have been displaced.  Our thoughts and prayers are with them during this time.  I cannot imagine the event myself as I never been through one.

Fortunately, more so than not, the reports of the damage and interruption of refining capabilities due to the storm have been moderate.  Hurricane IKE, though one of the largest storms in recent memory, did not bring the certain death and destruction our liberal friends in the media were so desperate to report.  I think that there real focus was somehow to disparage the current administration in a hope to bring down GOP’s recent surge in acceptance, somehow showing their inability to understand the common man and acting in similar step to the Bush’s blunder of the Hurricane Katrina situation.

Gas prices have been rising her locally at a feverish pace however with no economic basis for the rise.  Threat and fear have allowed the gas stations and their respective puppet masters to raise the costs per gallon to an extraordinary amount to secure increased profits.  Now I will be the first to say, I understand price and demand and have no issue with companies making money.  My issue with this current situation is the use of a weather condition that caused no substantional  impact to line the pockets of some of the most wealthy companies on the planet.  Oil has come down at an alarming rate with gas inching down so slow in comparison, no one really knows why.  Look at the price of oil, in overseas markets, trading below 100 dollars a barrel with gas still hovering around 4 dollars.  Come on people, if there was ever a manipulation of the market for the benefit of the big players - it is now.  I operate more in the tech space, so lets look at the guerrilla in our market.  Microsoft.  They have been under more legal litigation and scrutiny for locking out competition than anyone.   Yet their pricing is not that bad.  This monopoly that has been created by the oil companies is the same however impacts more people and drives the cost of living up.  Computers are optional at the home level, and if not - there are options for purchasing.  People need to go to work - and that requires gas in almost all cases. 

Lets look at the history.  Prices at the pump have hit everyone causing an economic slow down.  Oil prices dropping should reflect at the pump but have not.  The last time oil was below 100 dollars was March of this year.  At the time, the cost of oil was on the rise and gas with it.  Gas prices were set at a record of 3.22/gallon.  OK.  So lets say that is the base.  Why are we not at that level now?  Currently sitting nearly 25% higher due to no economic force other than the increased greed of oil/gas companies to reap a profit.  I am not one for government interference but I do think there needs to be some checks and balances to ensure that the customer is not overtly leveraged to a point of despair.  Most people are hurting from the current sector prices and are getting no relief.  And why should they?  Our President and his buddies have a vested interest in ensuring the cost does not come down as they have their hands heavily leveraged in such resources and companies.  So who is to blame?  Not sure but there needs to be a better way of figuring out fair pricing policy.

What if there was simply a % increase effected into law that let the price of oil determine the overall cost of gasoline to the customer.  If oil costs A, then the price of gas is B.  The key here would be to keep normal economic factors in play for oil, so that price increases were not distorted by companies trying to make more money.  One of the largest contributing factors to this issue is speculation and the fact that oil companies drive the cost through this medium.  The more people I speak to, the more I notice that do not understand the trading of these contracts and the cost associated.  The oil costs that we see in the news is not the cost of oil now, but down the road - months ahead.  These contracts are set in place to secure pricing, understand the need of the domestic and international community, and therefore determine a host of other logistical factors based upon those contracts.  The need for this sort of forecasting I appreciate.  However, it comes with a twist.  Guess who is buying the oil contracts and therefore increasing the demand - yes, that would be our good friends and the oil companies.  Purchasing their own product, showing high demand, limited production and therefore driving cost.  WOW.  If there was ever a manipulation of the market - well that is plain as day.

So where do we go from here.  The system is broken and it requires leadership at the micro and macro levels to put in place a market system that spurs innovation, keeps costs at a reasonable level, and allows companies to make a healthy bottom line.  What that exact model looks like - well I do not have the magic answer.  But I do believe that if people that lead these companies looked farther than one SEC report down the road, they could determine a way to make this work for everyone.

When girls don’t put out!!
This was written by a guy … it’s pretty damn smart.

Girls — Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.   Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’

I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’

She res ponded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop wh en I said, ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.’

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’

I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that woman knows I’m smarter than her.

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.                                                                                    
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.              
          
                                                
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and she says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’                                                     
 
 The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.                
                                                  
 
 She says to the mortician, ‘What ever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’ m very grateful. How much did you spend?’ To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
 
 
‘There’s no charge,’ she says.   
 
 
‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.                                                       

‘Honestly, ma’am,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’
 
 
 ’So I just switched the heads.’  
   
 
  (BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMIN’)

terryt1.WMV

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a ‘Save the Whales’ hat, and a ‘To Hell with Bush’ T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear’s chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then, using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it into the bed of their truck while the third tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. ‘I give you my blessing for your brave actions!’ he told them. ‘I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.’

As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies, ‘Who was that guy?’

‘It was the Pope,’ another replied. ‘He’s in direct contact with heaven and has access to all wisdom.’

‘Well,’ the logger said, ‘he may have access to all wisdom, but he sure don’t know anything about bear hunting! Is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu.”

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

The redneck won hands down!